mrs-freebatchof221bbakerstreet:
mrs-freebatchof221bbakerstreet:
My dad: So i want to see Star Trek
My dad: but Cabbagepatch is in it
My dad: So i’m conflicted whether to go by myself or go with you and get hit in the arm everytime he breathes
CABBAGEPATCH.
IM CRYING BLESS U
global warming more like global WORMING (starts doing the worm, worms around the entire planet, featured on CNN and every local paper and becomes a legend)
I want my eyelashes to be as black as my soul and as long as the list of people I hate.
my new years resolution is to do nothing bc i know i’ll follow through with it
When a cute boy sneezes I don’t say bless u because I see that god already has
welcome to the friend zone. it’s a zone for friends. hang out, have fun, grab a capri sun. there’s trampolines and a ball pit.
once my sister was eating pop rocks on my bed and spilled some but forgot to clean it up and apparently some pop rocks got on my pillow bc in the middle of the night i happened to drool and i swear to fucking god there is nothing more terrifying than having pop rocks exploding all up in your face when you are asleep